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10 Ways to
Restore Your Balance
1. Breathe and Drink Water
Take 3 deep breaths and drink
a glass of water slowly.
2. Focus on the soles of your feet
as you breathe and count to ten
slowly.
3. Take a break. Walk.
Quiet your mind.
Take a break from the situation.
Walk for 3 - 5 minutes with a
quiet mind.
4. Flex and relax your muscles.
Tense your body (or just hands
and feet); hold for five seconds;
release. Repeat three times.
5. Hold the appropriate finger on
one hand with your other hand.
Thumb-worry; Index-fear;
Middle-anger; Ring-grief or
sadness; Pinky-trying too hard.
6. Notice a larger perspective.
Take things less personally.
Witness yourself in the situation
and see it from a larger
perspective.
7. What's the lesson here?
Be curious, receptive to what
you can learn from the situation
that will assist you in contributing
to a sustainable positive outcome.
Act upon it.
8. Focus more on the other
person and less on yourself.
Notice their needs, interests,
and meaning making. Include
yourself after you've fully
understood them. Join together
to most effectively satisfy the
surface and/or underlying
interests of both parties.
9. Change your thinking.
Change your behavior.
What are you thinking about
the current situation? Retrace
your steps until right before
you lost your balance. What
happened that prompted you to
get off balance? How might you
think about the situation in a more
balanced way? What would be a
more effective response next time?
10. Incorporate mind and heart
for a fuller perspective.
Focus on the current situation
you associate with the imbalance.
What is your mind telling you
about it? Shift your focus to your
heart. What is your heart telling
you? Bring your mind and heart
together for a third, and often
wiser, more inclusive perspective.
And of course Smile, Laugh,
Regain Your Sense of Humor.
Remember the joy of learning,
and how much fun the 'out-takes'
are at the movies
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On one particular visit home to Cleveland, I decided to simply ‘be with’ my parents. I arrived Saturday morning at 8AM, and was departing Sunday afternoon. We did not have much time, and it was what we had.
I chose to let go of squeezing in hurried visits to old pals and special places to be with Mom and Dad, consciously choosing to enjoy them, and anything we would do together. It was a simple visit, nothing special . . . or so it seemed.
Nothing and everything happened. I slowed down, enjoyed every moment. I felt filled with love, joy, and a kind of ease that seemed to invite Mom to talk about things that were important to her, while Dad and I did not actually talk much; pretty normal.
Sunday morning, I was in the kitchen when Dad spread his arms across the doorway and gruffly said, "Have you been here for even 24 hours yet?" Now I have been known to rise to the bait, do some destructive inner self talk, push back, and contribute to a less than delicious moment at such tenuous junctures. But this time, feeling relaxed, rested and happy, I had a sense of humor, looked at my watch, smiled straight from my heart and said, "Yes, actually, I have.”
All of the sudden, Dad's faux gruff curmudgeon softened and a huge smile spread across his face as he said, "And look how much joy you've brought in such a short time!"
Yes, my heart was pounding out of my chest that morning. I'll never forget his words, and how we got there - simply by choosing to 'be with' and enjoy each other. One month after my visit, I was diagnosed with cancer, and Dad died four months later. I never saw him again after that moment of joy in the doorway. And it was a completely satisfying moment.
One small choice resulted in a big gift, one that in the last ten years has inspired many more moments of presence and joy.
We never really know what or how long we have in this one moment, with one another. May you enjoy all your moments in life, even the challenging ones. Choose wisely and clearly. Love who and what you choose, and enjoy that Love chooses you, too.
For the extra challenging 'moments,' if you find you are
dangling precariously near losing your balance, presence,
focus, perspective, resiliency, sense of humor, or curiosity
. . . try any of the 10 Ways to Restore Your Balance.
Best to practice them when you are not stressed, so they are your natural response when you need them the most.
© Copyright Kathy Eckles, M.A.
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